How to Redefine Your Toxic Relationship to Food
Isn’t it exhausting — feeling trapped in the cycle of love and hate with food?
It happens to the best of us. Food gives us energy, brings us together through our best and worst times, and hello, is delicious. It’s kind of a big deal.
Yet if you’re careless, that same food can turn from a harmless treat in your hand to a weapon of self-destruction.
Cut to guilty overeating, negative self-talk, midnight indulgences, starting and stopping diets, comparing yourself to others, the fear of judgment.
Society doesn’t make it easy, either. Like a too-comfortable neighbor, it constantly invites itself over, making suggestions and comments you never asked for.
Eat this, avoid that. Look more like this. Try this diet. Now this one. You sure about that next bite…?
It’s a lot to deal with. And it’s enough. You deserve to enjoy a cookie — shamelessly!
It may not feel like it yet, but the power of transformation lies within you, and I’m here to help activate it. With the strategies here, you can shift your mindset and habits around food for the better. You can empower yourself to make decisions that are right for you.
Let’s tuck in!
Who’s Lovin’ It?
It’s important to note how you’ve been told to feel about food and eating by our media. This step can allow you to identify toxic, internalized beliefs that you can then challenge going forward.
When you think of food or restaurant ads, do you think about food being fuel? What about nutritional values?
Of course not! We’re shown people laughing and having fun. Hippocrates instructs to let food be our medicine, but instead it’s presented as happiness and mere entertainment.
It doesn’t stop there. Our very body image is never safe. When only a few body types are portrayed as desirable, it often leads people into poor self-esteem and diet culture. It’s hard to feel good about food when you struggle to feel good about yourself.
The next few times you see food-related ads, observe beyond the product. What are the actual messages and assumptions from the seller?
And are you still buying it?
Inner Work Makes the Dream Work
It’s dangerous to see food as a source of happiness. That mindset encourages the consumption of food as a bandaid over issues that need their own stitches.
When you want snacks but aren’t hungry, what underlying emotions are you experiencing or hiding from? If you pay attention, you’ll discover patterns about yourself.
Whether it’s depression, boredom or anything in between, food never really satisfies it. I’ve personally noticed that anxiety makes me reach for sweets, and lots of it (I’m talkin’ multiple heaping spoonfuls of Nutella here).
Confronting my anxiety naturally improved my eating habits. Addressing the root problem leads to fewer cravings because you finally got the stitches instead of another bandaid.
Journaling is great for self observation. Write down everything you eat with a note about how you felt beforehand. You’ll soon make important connections between when and why you have the cravings you do!
No-body Like You
People usually diet to get the body they want. But what if you loved your body…just because?
It might sound counterintuitive, but accepting your body as beautiful first is more likely to create permanent, positive mental shifts around food.
Think about it. A negative body image encourages:
decreased enjoyment of food
emotional eating (bandaid fix!)
developing eating disorders
Meanwhile, a positive body image encourages:
mental & emotional contentment
increased body awareness to make better choices
enjoyment in taking care of yourself
Beauty standards change across centuries and cultures. You have one sacred body in this lifetime; let’s treat it that way.
Guided meditations, positive affirmations and self-love books are a few wonderful places to begin. Here’s a few links to get started — YouTube will be your best friend:
10 Minute Guided Meditation | Love Your Body
Affirmations for Loving Your Body from Louise Hay
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐁𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐋. 𝐇𝐚𝐲
It’s not You, it’s Intolerance
Food intolerance, that is. We’re sold medications to deal with symptoms like heartburn, headaches, diarrhea, sluggishness, etc. Those symptoms, concerning food, are not necessarily normal to experience regularly.
Yet people still impulsively eat what they want and hope for the best.
Not in the habit of noticing how different foods affect your body? An elimination diet could be a great option to explore. By cutting out various foods for a time, you can witness the physical effects of its absence. You may ditch some things permanently!
For me, cutting out dairy has been amazing for my digestion. Food affects us all differently. Again, recording your experience will help you unveil the patterns.
Check out this article on how to safely approach this method:
How to Do an Elimination Diet and Why
Process of Elimination
Speaking of elimination, how has yours been? Hear me out!
No, it’s not glamorous, but your digestion process offers direct feedback on how your body is handling your food choices.
It goes back to the notion of normalized symptoms. For example, you may have difficulty digesting something that makes you bloated and gassy. Irregular bowel movements and stomach pain after eating are also worth looking into.
Additionally, it’s advisable to notice the different aspects of your bowel movements and what they can mean for you. Link below to learn more:
Identifying Your Poop: What to Look For
This process will strengthen both your observational skills and your attunement to your body’s needs — enabling you to make better dietary decisions and feel good about it. Daily documentation will uncover patterns with what you eat.
Have Your Cake
Picture this: It’s Janet’s birthday at work and they’re serving cake. You’re offered a slice and you accept it with a smile. It feels empowering.
Now picture this: It’s Janet’s birthday at work and they’re serving cake. You’re offered a slice and you decline it with a smile. It feels empowering.
Food isn’t black and white — so why would your choices around it be?
Explore the gray area.
Using these tips, begin reclaiming your role as the mastermind of your relationship with food. Be curious. Be mindful. Above all, be patient and loving with yourself. No transformation is overnight!
Remember, you are capable.
And you deserve having healthy relationships. Including culinary.
So go ahead, take that first step towards empowerment. Celebrate the small victories and encourage yourself through the setbacks.
Your relationship with food is yours alone to make positive.
Trust yourself. You’ve already got this.